Confessions of a Tinderella: A Chat with Author Rosy Edwards

...NEVER read your reviews. You focus exclusively on the bad ones and ignore all the people who took the time and effort to write good ones.
— Rosy Edwards

Emily Koopman: Firstly, I must know how things ended up going with Jack after the final page. He sounded like a dream.

Rosy Edwards: Ha, yes he was lovely! That date prompted a second, which turned into a third, which turned into a a drunken sleep over and the rest is history.

We went on to date for a year before things sadly came to an end (by which I mean he dumped me on the steps of Liverpool Street Station). After a suitable mourning period (like, two weeks) I got back on Tinder (obviously) and was lucky enough to meet a wonderful man who I have now been with for a year and a half. I moved in last January and we don't hate each other yet, which I count as major romantic success.

Emily: Now that you’ve written a memoir -- Confessions of a Tinderella -- (and are working in journalism), do you plan on writing any fiction? Or perhaps even another memoir (please)?

Rosy: I will absolutely be writing fiction but my life is sadly not interesting enough for a second memoir. Although I have seriously thought about serializing my life, like Katie Price, and realizing a new volume every time I get a haircut.

I am really interested in life at 30, mental wellbeing and the constant pursuit for 'happiness'. Anything I write next will almost certainly touch upon those themes. And maybe robots. They are quite cool too.

Emily: Were there any other stories that you didn’t include in Confessions that you wish you did/could have? And/or are there some that simply didn’t make it in the book?

Rosy: The best ones all made it, although after the book came out I went on a a few more dates that I would have loved to add as an appendix. The guy that was so perfect, for instance, that I could barely form a sentence all night – and never heard from again. And the estate agent, to whom I applied some basic psychotherapeutic techniques, and he genuinely thought I was able to read his mind.

He asked me out again, but I was having a kidney transplant that night so I had to decline.

Emily: How long did it take you to write and compile all the stories and make them work as a full-length book?

Rosy: It was about eight months in total. I wrote the first 80,000 over the first 7 3/4 then the final 10,000 over the course of one night which was, purely coincidentally, the night before the final draft was due. OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration but I re-wrote a LOT.

I was in Dubai and only made the deadline thanks to the four hour time difference. I am not sure my editor knows that...

Emily: Have you ever considered writing under a pseudonym? Even if you haven’t or don’t plan to, what would you choose as your fake name? (I always thought this would be a fun thing to do, it’s like a porn name but without - necessarily - being overtly sexual.)

Rosy: Yes, but only so I can write about my friends' crazy-banana lives with total deniability. I would probably make up a name based on my grandmothers' names, or use my initials so no one could ascertain my gender. I can't use my middle names, which is Margretta, as no one would believe it was real.

Emily: I can’t remember if you mentioned it or not, but did you end up using real names for everyone? Have any of the guys you talked about contacted (or confronted) you since the publication?

Rosy: I used fake names for everyone, and changed all identifiable details for legal reasons. My publisher's lawyer had to read it and make notes. Getting his feedback could have been heinous – "Where you say: "And then I bit his arse..." could we tone down?" – but he was very professional.

I know that word got back to one of the guys but he has never contacted me about it. TOTAL DENIABILITY.

Emily: In Confessions, you talk about how you had started writing some children’s books -- did you end up continuing them even after your friend, well, quite literally called them ‘shit’?

Rosy: Ha! This was based on my agent reading a very early draft of a book I wrote a few years ago and actually she did a very good job of impression of a person who liked it. I knew she thought it was shit, and she was right. I feel that part of my job as a writer is to say what everyone is thinking, especially my lovely agent who is to polite to say it herself. I went on to write for a a parenting magazine, but the kids' books have been parked.

Emily: Have you read any of the book’s reviews? How do you deal with the good and the bad? Is there one that stood out?

Rosy: Yes – the terrible ones! That's why you should NEVER read your reviews. You focus exclusively on the bad ones and ignore all the people who took the time and effort to write good ones. That's bad karma maths.

Emily: If you could have an alcoholic beverage named after you, or simply come up with a name for one yourself, what would said drink consist of?

Rosy: It would have a vodka base, a twist of vodka and have a vodka garnish. There could be some elderflower cordial and lemon in there if there is room.

Actually, since turning 30, I've really taken up wine in a big way, so ideally I would have a grape named after me. It's a cruel twist of fate that my palette has changed to enjoy wine just as my body has changed to stop me losing weight.

Emily: Lastly, what are some of your personal favourite books?

Rosy: I have two. The first is Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill. It is the book I can only dream of writing and the one I give to everyone when they haven't even asked for a gift. The first time I read it, I finished the last page and went straight back to the beginning. The second is The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank. I got it free with a magazine when I was in hospital once and it changed my life. The way Bank writes about the stages of growing up is simply masterful. Books like that make you want to be better every day.